Is this a challenge?

Is this a mistake?

She wondered about that.

It was difficult to tell which was which, too many things terrified her. She was too often impelled by fear, which obfuscated the meaning of things, she knew. If only desire drove her, she would know what was a challenge, what was a mistake.

Wouldn’t she?

It was a decision. That’s why she was terrified. She had a hard time with decisions.

Which made sense, given the pros and cons were all the same, whether it were a or b.  Either way: It was terrifying. It was a challenge. It was a possibly a mistake. These were the pros. These were the cons.

She could think herself into spiraling circles until she was paralyzed and dizzy. Which she often did.

In the end, she made choices based on nothing at all, really. Nothing but impulse.